only child syndrome?

I think it's the fact that I was the only child for almost 11 years. During the course of those 11 years, I played alone, studied alone, did everything alone. I remember playing pretend, usually as a teacher to a class of let's say 5 kids. I'll name them and write mathematical equations on a whiteboard or some random cardboard, and somehow mark the "homework" the kids hand in. I had fun, at least I think so.
I'm not weird right? You girls did your fair share of playing pretend, right? Hmm.

Those years of being alone, i miss it you know. I like being alone. I like coming home to an empty house. Cos i can do whatever i want. Blast the music & tv, eat ice cream from the tub, walk around in just underclothes and most of all, i don't need to hear to naggings and yappings!

So yeah. I get irritated with my sister very easily. I love her, i really do. I love & miss the times when she was still a baby. She was so adorable, cheeks so tembab like they were stuffed with pau & her laughter - it makes me cry thinking about those times & how now i don't cherish her. I scream at her at the smallest things, and probably beat her. I hate it when she's not affected or says it's not painful, cos then i exert more strength and yeah, she cries. That's when guilt starts kicking in. Guilt is my worst enemy. It kills me everytime. But hey i think it's not entirely my fault, she's just naughty, i get irritated. Tolerance level -ZERROOO! Her yappings, her loud voice, ughh it's friggin annoying! I hate it when she stands so close to me trying to see what I'm doing on the computer, reading my msn conversations, eavesdropping... Are those things what younger sisters do?

So, today, I pretty much tell her to stay at least one arm's away form me at all times, and not talk to me until tmr!
(okay I'm a horrible sister)
BUT of cos that was only possible for like 15minutes or less??!


Okay, i shall TRY TO BE MORE TOLERATING TOWARDS HER.
cos I'm guilty as charged.
it's not abuse right?
omg, NO.

12:57 AM ·