drowned.

I've been doing lots of thinking lately, mainly about my strengths and weaknesses but till now, i still cant seem to find any strengths. Hmm, i dont exactlyknow how to describe myself. I'm nowhere near being musically inclined; i just have a guitar for ornamental purposes. (GEE!) I'm not a creative, arty-farty person, i cant draw at all and neither am i sports inclined nor technologically advanced(so much for being in computer club and i think khairul ariffin doesn't know this fact) Laugh your heart out, biatch. I dont really know what i'm going do in my life. And i've chosen marketing, um doesn't that need creativity? I think definitely lack of this. Oh boy am i screwed. So now, i've committed myself to dikir barat. Let's just say i'm not doing well in it either. I cant freaking hell sing and i'm somewhat slow (oh fine, very) in catching stuff and it doesn't help that i'm pretty weird and tend to do things different from others. My existence in dikir would be as a clown? so everyone can laugh at how stupid and dumb i am at not being able to do the most easiest and simplest stuff. (i guess dikir is not the place for me) It sucks that i'm someone who does not take critisism well. I dont exactly like being laughed at. But along the years, i've become immune to certain insults and i guess that's a good thing. They say "don't take to heart what others think of you, you know yourself best" The thing is, I DON'T! I have an incomprehensible mind; i always have two thoughts in my head.

I remember the times when my mum said she picked me up from the rubbish dump whenever i was naughty or rude. It doesnt affect me anymore, but it still hurts somewhat deep inside. I'm so unlike my parents, they are musically and physically inclined. Im just, garbage.


Now, my head is spinning with so many thoughts; the present, the future and the "ever-so-sweet" past.



I don't ever wanna feel like i did that day.
Take me to the place i love, TAKE ME ALL THE WAY.

1:36 AM ·